Original source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Shincheonji/comments/16liop6/i_am_very_very_happy_that_i_am_no_longer_in_scj/
I initially wrote the following post as a comment from a post here in reddit but I ended up writing a long comment so I decided to post it here as well.
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I left SCJ last July 2023 – just very recently. During those first few days after leaving, I felt a dark cloud following me around. I was not particularly sad, just a little disoriented with my daily routine. I was in a new branch LA so I used to do just zoom classes and zoom services – so, when I quit, it just meant, less computer screen time because I will have no more center, no more services and no more studying for sealing exams and no more Gyjn contacting me over and over again on how I am doing with evangelizing or leafing. It was a considerable lift of weight off my schedule but I still felt disoriented – almost close to feeling empty and no one really understood how i felt because I never really had a true SCJ friend in the 2.5 yrs I was there since I am all zoom. Those I have connected with were my Gyjns. I even trusted my Gysn that time but when I sent them my “goodbye msg”, I never even really received a call or msg back from them.
That was really awful. It just goes to show that they never really cared. They don’t want to waste time on me since I won’t be affecting anyone anyway, since I am insignificant to the group anyway.
I am gonna share below the things I did that made me feel better but first, I’m gonna share one things I did that did not help me feel better. I tried sharing my predicament to my friend who is not in anyway part of scj, and it just made matter worse. She’s like having this judging look that I even got involved in a cult in the first place. So I would advise against sharing to friends – they will most likely not understand. Even therapists who are not specialized in cult therapy may not understand.
Anyway, here are things I did that made me feel better:
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Went to a lake and just felt the windy breeze (helped a bit but not a lot)
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I read Steven Hassan’s book on Mind Control. I used the Audiobook and listened bits by bits on my way to work and on my way home.
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I rearranged my work schedule so that I can pick more hours to work (I fill those hours that I used to save for SCJ time with work time) – helped me reorganize my routine and also signifies that I am finally owning my time and not letting SCJ sched dictate it.
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The conversation with two ex SCJ members here in reddit really helped. One person was so kind to even give me his time to talk over the phone. He had no idea but that was very instrumental to my growth – just being able to talk with someone who was in a similar situation as me.
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Reading Testimonies here in Reddit helped me re-affirm that SCJ is very corrupt
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Watching doctrine changes in youtube explanation and just studying the inconsistencies glued the belief that truth is not in SCJ
After all that, was I able to trust in others easily? I have come to accept that this era is an era of fraud and marketing manipulation and corruption in different levels.
Years before, I was also scammed into joining MLM. I was scammed too in self-help hypes, financial gurus. And this religious cult is nothing different.
I was like a simpleton being fooled by a dangling carrot that never existed in the first place.
I realized more than ever that this is rampant in our society. Some netflix shows / movies that made me realize this:
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The Big Short
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Madoff: The Monster of Wall Street
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Painkillers
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How to be a cult leader
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How to be a Tyrant
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Money Explained
There is just so much corruption and greed and lies in this world but as humans, we are all wired to trust each other because if we don’t, we will all go crazy with paranoia.
So these days, I just arm myself with a questioning mind. I always give myself at least 48 hours or more to rethink any new idea or new teaching or new product or new marketing anyone is offering me. I give myself the gift of researching things before subscribing to them.
It is a tough world that we actually have to double check and triple check things before believing – but I guess that is now how things are supposed to be – this is a norm in this very deceitful society.
I still believe in God because as humans, for some reason, we are also wired to believe and have hope on some higher being. I am just an average human and I can never imagine myself being an atheist.
So I just pray now and then for God to send me more people who can be truthful and have honest intentions in my life and to keep me away from people who will take advantage of me.
🙏🙏
As of now, I am very happy that I am no longer in SCJ. Very very happy.
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I take care of my health
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I take supplements
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I try to eat healthy
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I decided to go to the gym
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I am now beginning to plan my career path (Before, my only plan was to move to LA and do full time in evangelizing, but now, I began yo really plan my life)
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I am now valuing more my circle, my family, my loved ones, the people who are really there for me
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I am thinking of starting a new sport
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I am slowly taking a break in picking up so many work hours and just taking life in one day at a time
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I watched that Netflix show “Live to 100” and seeing just how many people from different cultures are living which caused them to live longer. It is soooo different to how SCJ people are living. The pressure, the gaslighting, the trauma – it is never found in most of the bluezones.
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I am enjoying little things, like the breeze 🍃
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I don’t feel very empty now.
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I think the sun is beginning to shine in my life again, the dark clouds are beginning to fade.
Thank you, I am so over SCJ. To those who are still searching, hopefully you can find your exit too. 🙏